Advice (see humility, pride, success)

You cannot expect to ignore God’s Word, to set aside His advice and then have Him come running to your rescue when you suffer the consequences of your decisions. We often test God. We know we should do as He says but we do not. Then, when trouble arrives, we look to God to bail us out. We don’t understand why He lets us suffer. But God sometimes lets us struggle through the natural consequences of our disobedience in order to teach us that He means what He says. God is not someone that we should turn to only in times of trial. Like any good relationship, we must invest in the good times and then expect returns in the bad times.

• Proverbs 1:25-28 HCSB since you neglected all my counsel and did not accept my correction, 26 I, in turn, will laugh at your calamity. I will mock when terror strikes you, 27 when terror strikes you like a storm and your calamity comes like a whirlwind, when trouble and stress overcome you. 28 Then they will call me, but I won't answer; they will search for me, but won't find me.

Listening is one of life’s great skills. Listening to God is one of life’s great necessities. His advice is to be treasured. We should hone both our listening skills and our appreciation by practicing on humans.

• Proverbs 2:1-5 HCSB My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, 2 listening closely to wisdom and directing your heart to understanding; 3 furthermore, if you call out to insight and lift your voice to understanding, 4 if you seek it like silver and search for it like hidden treasure, 5 then you will understand the fear of the LORD and discover the knowledge of God.

We often forget that we are not the only ones to have gone through these circumstances. There is nothing new under the sun. What we are going through is common to man. Find those who have “been there done that” successfully and pick their brains.

• Proverbs 4:1-4 HCSB Listen, my sons, to a father's discipline, and pay attention so that you may gain understanding, 2 for I am giving you good instruction. Don't abandon my teaching. 3 When I was a son with my father, tender and precious to my mother, 4 he taught me and said: "Your heart must hold on to my words. Keep my commands and live.

If you don’t take advice, if you cannot be disciplined, then don’t whine when things go wrong!

• Proverbs 5:11-14 HCSB At the end of your life, you will lament when your physical body has been consumed, 12 and you will say, "How I hated discipline, and how my heart despised correction. 13 I didn't obey my teachers or listen closely to my mentors. 14 I was on the verge of complete ruin before the entire community."

Again, good, constructive, scriptural advice is to be treasured.

• Proverbs 7:1-3 HCSB My son, obey my words, and treasure my commands. 2 Keep my commands and live; protect my teachings as you would the pupil of your eye. 3 Tie them to your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart.

You can always count on the Word to be correct. There will not be the improper motivations and blind spots to which humans are so susceptible. It is clear and plain. The problem lies not with the advice but with our willingness to obey it.

• Proverbs 8:7-9 HCSB For my mouth tells the truth, and wickedness is detestable to my lips. 8 All the words of my mouth are righteous; none of them are deceptive or perverse. 9 All of them are clear to the perceptive, and right to those who discover knowledge.

Following good advice leads to success. Your business may fail but the experience will still be successful because you will have gained insight and strength. You’ll do better next time. Following scriptural advice ensures that you will succeed regardless. “All things work together for good…”

• Proverbs 8:14-16 HCSB I possess good advice and competence; I have understanding and strength. 15 It is by me that kings reign and rulers enact just law; 16 by me, princes lead, as do nobles and all righteous judges.

What is the source of happiness? Things? No. Praise? Wrong again. The appreciation of my peers? The achievement of my dreams? Absolutely not. The source of happiness is listening to and following God. Happiness finds its source in that intentional watching for the Lord’s will in every day life.

• Proverbs 8:32-36 HCSB And now, my sons, listen to me; those who keep my ways are happy. 33 Listen to instruction and be wise; don't ignore it. 34 Anyone who listens to me is happy, watching at my doors every day, waiting by the posts of my doorway. 35 For the one who finds me finds life and obtains favor from the LORD, 36 but the one who sins against me harms himself; all who hate me love death."

When you are looking for advice, don’t go to the worldly. Don’t go to those who are unsuccessful in life. Don’t go to those who will just tell you what you want to hear. Find the godly. Find men and women of character. Find people who are strong and have a servant’s heart. They will guide you well. If you listen to fools, your destruction is assured.

• Proverbs 10:21 HCSB The lips of the righteous feed many, but fools die for lack of sense.

In the end, you will know who gave you wise advice. The godly person who points you in the direction of God’s will shall be recognized in the long run. Those fools who keep hurting people with their foolishness will find themselves alone and without respect. If you recognize a fool, then cut them off. Don’t let them deceive you with their vain human philosophies. Do this before it’s too late.

• Proverbs 10:31-32 HCSB The mouth of the righteous produces wisdom, but a perverse tongue will be cut out. 32 The lips of the righteous know what is appropriate, but the mouth of the wicked, only what is perverse.

If you truly want to be the best that you can be, you need to envision yourself as a wise king. Surround yourself with good advisors. Search for the godliest, wisest people you can find and consciously make them your counsel. Ask them if they would be willing to be a part of your life. Let them know what you are doing. Pay them if you have to – but get the best.

• Proverbs 11:14 HCSB Without guidance, people fall, but with many counselors there is deliverance.

If you don’t choose your advisors well, if you allow the wicked to whisper their flatteries into your ear you can rest assured that treachery is on the way. You will be betrayed. By the way, you can tell if you are dealing with the godly or the wicked according to their characteristics. If they have betrayed others, don’t think they won’t betray you.

• Proverbs 12:5 HCSB The thoughts of the righteous are just, but guidance from the wicked leads to deceit.

“Why do I need advice from others? I know what I’m doing.” Don’t be a fool! You don’t know everything. You can learn from others. You can even learn from the wicked! You can look at a drunk and learn “Don’t do this!” Wisdom involves recognizing our own inadequacies. Foolishness is thinking we have none.

• Proverbs 12:15 HCSB A fool's way is right in his own eyes, but whoever listens to counsel is wise.

Work hard to know what you’re talking about. Don’t give out advice left and right. Be slow to speak. But when you do speak make it count. Make it good. Make it scriptural.

• Proverbs 12:26 HCSB A righteous man is careful in dealing with his neighbor, but the ways of wicked men lead them astray.

Take note of those who are surrounded by constant arguments. Odds are, pride is involved. Stay away from them. Take note of those who take advice. They are wise and have probably learned a thing or two. Get involved with them.

• Proverbs 13:10 HCSB Arrogance leads to nothing but strife, but wisdom is gained by those who take advice.

If you are in trouble, ask yourself, who warned me about this? Go back to them and apologize. Then start listening.

• Proverbs 13:13 HCSB The one who has contempt for instruction will pay the penalty, but the one who respects a command will be rewarded.

There is nothing like having some wise counsel available to you. It is refreshing. It takes the knots out of your stomach. It eases stress in your life. It removes some of the painful consequences of bad decisions. All in all, it probably extends your life as much as all those vitamins you take.

• Proverbs 13:14 HCSB A wise man's instruction is a fountain of life, turning people away from the snares of death.

Even criticism from the wicked usually has some grain of truth to it. They rarely make up their lies whole cloth. Your job is to sift through it and find what that grain of truth is. Your job is to find out what God can teach you – even through undeserved criticism.

• Proverbs 13:18 HCSB Poverty and disgrace come to those who ignore instruction, but the one who accepts rebuke will be honored.

Do not allow fools to teach you. Do not let them teach those you love. Surround yourself and your loved ones with wise, godly advice. Change friends if you have to. Move if you have to. Do whatever it takes, but get good help.

• Proverbs 15:7 HCSB The lips of the wise broadcast knowledge, but not so the heart of fools.

It doesn’t matter how smart you are. Someone, somewhere probably knows more about it than you do. Someone might have a unique perspective on this matter and if you don’t try to find it, you’ll live to regret it.

• Proverbs 15:22 HCSB Plans fail when there is no counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.

Keep this in mind for yourself. Think before you speak. But also notice if the person you ask immediately responds or takes a moment to collect their thoughts.

• Proverbs 15:28 HCSB The mind of the righteous person thinks before answering, but the mouth of the wicked blurts out evil things.

We humans like to hang out with those who tell us how great we are. But if you truly want to grow, hang out with those who appreciate you but tell you that you need to work hard to be better. The “friends” who tell you you’re great the way you are, won’t help you be better.

• Proverbs 15:31-32 HCSB An ear that listens to life-giving rebukes will be at home among the wise. 32 Anyone who ignores instruction despises himself, but whoever listens to correction acquires good sense.

Don’t get upset when someone tries to teach you. Don’t get mad because of the assumption that you are not all that you could be. Admit that there is always room to grow. Be a perpetual student. Find masters who will continue to challenge you.

• Proverbs 16:20 HCSB The one who understands a matter finds success, and the one who trusts in the LORD will be happy.

Don’t have to be told twice about the same thing. If the advice is sound, follow it from that point on. Every time you keep making the same mistakes is time wasted. And time is in limited supply; it is a non renewable commodity.

• Proverbs 17:10 HCSB A rebuke cuts into a perceptive person more than a hundred lashes into a fool.

Don’t be one of those who feel you have to tell everyone what you think about everything. You may be guilty of murder by boredom.

• Proverbs 18:2 HCSB A fool does not delight in understanding, but only wants to show off his opinions.

There is a certain brilliance to truth. It stands out from the common babble. When you have one of those “Aha!” moments you will be invigorated. It will energize you. Look for those kinds of moments. Treasure them. Collect them like fine paintings or jewelry.

• Proverbs 18:4 HCSB The words of a man's mouth are deep waters, a flowing river, a fountain of wisdom.

If someone offers you advice without knowing all the facts, then take their offering with a grain of salt! And whatever you do, don’t open your mouth until you know all that it is possible to know at that moment.

• Proverbs 18:13 HCSB The one who gives an answer before he listens--this is foolishness and disgrace for him.

Be smart. Travel. Visit other people who do what you are doing. Try new ways. Test new methods. You can’t do much about your looks but you can always borrow brains.

• Proverbs 18:15 HCSB The mind of the discerning acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks it.

Some people may collect coins; others may enjoy stamps. You be sure you collect wisdom and truth.

• Proverbs 19:20 HCSB Listen to counsel and receive instruction so that you may be wise in later life.

This is a lifestyle. It cannot be an on again off again practice. You need to understand the Law of Light. If you start turning your back on truth, it will become more difficult for you to recognize it when it comes. You will be like poor Pilate who had to ask “What is truth?”

• Proverbs 19:27 HCSB If you stop listening to instruction, my son, you will stray from the words of knowledge.

Be open to a good counselor. It doesn’t do you any good to go to your counselor or pastor and then lie to them. But sometimes we don’t even realize that we are lying to ourselves. Find a good counselor who will help you tease the truth out.

• Proverbs 20:5 HCSB Counsel in a man's heart is deep water; but a man of understanding draws it up.

All of us will have struggles from time to time. All of us will have to go to battle at some point in our lives. It’s not a question of “if” but of “when”. Just make sure that you don’t go into it half-cocked.

• Proverbs 20:18 HCSB Finalize plans through counsel, and wage war with sound guidance.

All the best advice in the world is not worth one truth from the Word of God. If God clearly and plainly says to do something, you don’t need to pray about it. You don’t need to ask a bunch of advisors about it. All you need to do is obey it.

• Proverbs 21:30 HCSB No wisdom, no understanding, and no counsel will prevail against the LORD.

Once you have determined that a person is a fool, don’t waste any more time on them. Find someone who actually wants to grow and change and do better and spend yourself on them.

• Proverbs 23:9 HCSB Don't speak to a fool, for he will despise the insight of your words.

Men tend to value strength. We value big strapping brave leaders. But a little bit of knowledge will beat a whole lot of brute strength any day. Just ask anybody who practices martial arts. Be known for your knowledge. Be known for your wisdom. Be known for your humility and teachable spirit.

• Proverbs 24:5-6 HCSB A wise warrior is better than a strong one, and a man of knowledge than one of strength; 6 for you should wage war with sound guidance--victory comes with many counselors.

When someone gives you an honest answer – celebrate it. Send them a card thanking them for that honest answer. Appreciate it for the rarity that it is.

• Proverbs 24:26 HCSB He who gives an honest answer gives a kiss on the lips.

How valuable is wise advice? Timely advice is not merely helpful; it is beautiful. It is not merely beautiful; it is essential. All of us like saying the right thing at the right time. How many times have we walked away from an altercation thinking “I should have said this or that!” But the way to have such fitting replies is to think things through before hand. Have the Scriptures memorized. Ask yourself questions before you go into the altercation and have scriptural answers prepared. Role play. Get someone to help you if necessary. Find someone who knows your opponent and how they think. Discover likely avenues of thought, travel a ways down them and come to the meeting prepared.

• Proverbs 25:11 HCSB A word spoken at the right time is like golden apples on a silver tray.

Make “I value valid criticism” a motto of your life. Let others know it. Show it by your appreciation.

• Proverbs 25:12 HCSB A wise correction to a receptive ear is like a gold ring or an ornament of gold.

Lazy people will put out more effort trying to stay out of work than they would put out if they simply worked. They will try to work the system, cut corners and fool others just so they can get by with the minimum. They don’t care that their abuse costs taxpayers. They don’t consider the damage to families who can’t get the help they need because the system is overburdened. They feel good about being able to outsmart the system. Never take advice from such a person because, though they think they are getting away with things, the Lord sees everything and He will make sure that justice is done. God will bless you for being hard working, even if you could make more money by being “on the dole.” There is more to life than simply getting the most money you can with the least amount of effort.

• Proverbs 26:16 HCSB In his own eyes, a slacker is wiser than seven men who can answer sensibly.

Some people like roses. Others prefer chocolates. You should develop an appreciation for a friend’s wise advice.

• Proverbs 27:9 HCSB Oil and incense bring joy to the heart, and the sweetness of a friend is better than self-counsel.

If you have ever tried to sharpen a blade, you know that it takes repeated pressure and friction. It’s this friction that occurs whenever we do something foolish that aggravates others that allows us to grow and become better people. If we isolate ourselves from that friction, or surround ourselves with oily sycophants we will not be the sharpest tool in the box.

• Proverbs 27:17 HCSB Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

Don’t be like Pharaoh in Exodus 7 who hardened his heart against God’s commands. If you remember, He ended up destroying his own country, causing the death of every firstborn male child and drowning his entire army. God is an irresistible force. You can tell Him no if you want to, but you will do so at your own peril.

• Proverbs 28:14 HCSB Happy is the one who is always reverent, but one who hardens his heart falls into trouble.

All of us tend to shrink from telling others the truth when that truth may be painful. So we let our friends walk around with toilet paper on their heels, green stuff in their teeth and their zippers down because we don’t want to embarrass them. But what will that friend feel like at the end of the day when they finally look in the mirror and realize that you let them walk around like that all day? Why do you think it’s any different for any other hard truth? People appreciate compassionate truth telling.

• Proverbs 28:23 HCSB One who rebukes a person will later find more favor than one who flatters with his tongue.

Having a healthy self-esteem is one thing – being pride infested is another. A healthy self-esteem includes the knowledge that you are capable of being stupendously stupid at times and wonderfully wise at others. You need to set up some kind of system that will protect you from those stupid moments. That would include regular Bible study, prayer, church attendance and mutual accountability to spiritual friends.

• Proverbs 28:26 HCSB The one who trusts in himself is a fool, but one who walks in wisdom will be safe.

Everything will seem to be clicking along fine and then BOOM! Catastrophe will strike out of left field and you will never even see it coming. Why? Because you thought you knew everything and could not accept teaching from the wise people in your life. Don’t be intractable (unteachable). That kind of person wakes up one morning having lost it all.

• Proverbs 29:1 HCSB One who becomes stiff-necked, after many reprimands will be broken suddenly--and without a remedy.

If you listen to deceptive people simply because you like what you’re hearing, you will soon be surrounded with self-seeking sycophants who will whisper sweet nothings in your ear until your brain rots and you couldn’t tell the truth of the matter if it smacked you on the nose!

• Proverbs 29:12 HCSB If a ruler listens to lies, all his servants will be wicked.

Look at your organization. Analyze your family. Exercise some discernment as to your church. Are people running wild? Is chaos king? Odds are someone is not accepting divine guidance. If you want peace and happiness in your surroundings then you’d better start initiating the rule of Christ.

• Proverbs 29:18 HCSB Without revelation people run wild, but one who keeps the law will be happy.

This is the ultimate lesson. Pride loses – humility wins. Pride caused the devil to fall from heaven. Pride caused Adam and Eve to fall from grace. Pride caused Peter to proclaim his undying loyalty only to fail before a little girl. Pride will be the death of you if you let it.

• Proverbs 29:23 HCSB A person's pride will humble him, but a humble spirit will gain honor.

Where do I look for good advice? Seek advice from those who are faithful, godly, honest, and trustworthy. They can be counted on to give you counsel that comes from God’s word.

• Genesis 6:9 HCSB These are the family records of Noah. Noah was a righteous man, blameless among his contemporaries; Noah walked with God.
• Titus 1:15 HCSB To the pure, everything is pure, but to those who are defiled and unbelieving nothing is pure; in fact, both their mind and conscience are defiled.

How do I evaluate the advice of others? One way to evaluate advice is to evaluate the adviser. Do the adviser’s words and life produce good fruit or bad? When evaluating advice, check it against the truth of God’s word. If it contradicts the Bible, then it is bad advice.

• Matthew 7:15-20 HCSB "Beware of false prophets who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravaging wolves. 16 You'll recognize them by their fruit. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes or figs from thistles? 17 In the same way, every good tree produces good fruit, but a bad tree produces bad fruit. 18 A good tree can't produce bad fruit; neither can a bad tree produce good fruit. 19 Every tree that doesn't produce good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 So you'll recognize them by their fruit.
• 2 John 1:9 HCSB Anyone who does not remain in the teaching about Christ, but goes beyond it, does not have God. The one who remains in that teaching, this one has both the Father and the Son.

How do I give good advice to others? When giving advice to others, have pure motives, point to God’s word, and don’t use advice as an excuse to lecture. Pray about what you want to say, and have the other’s best interests in mind. Words are like medicine; they should be measured with care. An overdose may do more harm than good.

• Philippians 4:8 HCSB Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable--if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise--dwell on these things.

What happens when I follow good advice?

• Psalms 1:1-6 HCSB How happy is the man who does not follow the advice of the wicked, or take the path of sinners, or join a group of mockers! 2 Instead, his delight is in the LORD's instruction, and he meditates on it day and night. 3 He is like a tree planted beside streams of water that bears its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers. 4 The wicked are not like this; instead, they are like chaff that the wind blows away. 5 Therefore the wicked will not survive the judgment, and sinners will not be in the community of the righteous. 6 For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked leads to ruin.