Divorce and Remarriage

Zaquenim (elders) often have to address the issue of divorce and remarriage. An appropriate understanding of the biblical terms and the historical context in which they were written is therefore essential to successful derash (life application) in the often messy and emotionally charged situations involved in divorce and remarriage.

Mosaic Law addresses the issue of divorce. Being written within the context of a patristic society, it generally uses the male perspective but the principles were clearly applied to both sexes.

• Deuteronomy 24:1-4 HCSB "If a man marries a woman, but she becomes displeasing to him because he finds something improper about her, he may write her a divorce certificate, hand it to her, and send her away from his house. 2 If after leaving his house she goes and becomes another man's wife, 3 and the second man hates her, writes her a divorce certificate, hands it to her, and sends her away from his house or if he dies, 4 the first husband who sent her away may not marry her again after she has been defiled, because that would be detestable to the LORD. You must not bring guilt on the land the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance.

Mosaic (or Levitical) Law did not institute divorce. Rather, like slavery, it permitted and regulated an already existing societal habit, with the goal of bringing about justice.

• Leviticus 21:7 HCSB They are not to marry a woman defiled by prostitution or divorced by her husband, for the priest is holy to his God.
• Leviticus 21:14-15 HCSB He is not to marry a widow, a divorced woman, or one defiled by prostitution. He is to marry a virgin from his own people, 15 so that he does not corrupt his bloodline among his people, for I am the LORD who sets him apart."
• Numbers 30:9 HCSB "Any vow a widow or divorcée put herself under is binding on her.

Jesus conditioned the law of Deuteronomy 24:1 in the Sermon on the Mount citing the higher law of creation.

• Matthew 5:31-32 HCSB "It was also said, Whoever divorces his wife must give her a written notice of divorce. 32 But I tell you, everyone who divorces his wife, except in a case of sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
• Matthew 19:3-9 HCSB Some Pharisees approached Him to test Him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife on any grounds?" 4 "Haven't you read," He replied, "that He who created them in the beginning made them male and female, 5 and He also said: For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, man must not separate." 7 "Why then," they asked Him, "did Moses command us to give divorce papers and to send her away?" 8 He told them, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of the hardness of your hearts. But it was not like that from the beginning. 9 And I tell you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery."

Note: Divorce was an easy matter for the husband in the Semitic world. There is no law in the OT which institutes it because it is simply taken for granted as part of age-old custom. What the law tries to do is to regulate it, usually in favor of the wife. We infer from this law that a man could divorce his wife (a) only for good cause; (b) the case must be brought before some public official; and (c) a legal document prepared and placed in the wife’s hand.

These formalities, involving time and money, would act as a deterrent to hasty or rash action. On the other hand, there were some in Israel who by theological reflection upon the meaning of creation, seem to have felt that the monogamous marriage was the will of God (Genesis 1-2) and that divorce was something God hated (cf. Malachi 2:14-15). It is to this ground in theological principle that Jesus appealed when asked about the matter, while saying that the Mosaic law which permits divorce was God’s accommodation to human sin (Mark 10:1-2; cf. The prophetic use of the law of divorce in Hosea 2:2-3; Jeremiah 3:1-5).

God rebuked the Israelites for the sin of divorce and commanded them to be faithful to their covenant vows.

• Malachi 2:13-16 HCSB And this is another thing you do: you cover the LORD's altar with tears, with weeping and groaning, because He no longer respects your offerings or receives them gladly from your hands. 14 Yet you ask, "For what reason?" Because the LORD has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have acted treacherously against her, though she was your marriage partner and your wife by covenant. 15 Didn't the one God make us with a remnant of His life-breath? And what does the One seek? A godly offspring. So watch yourselves carefully, and do not act treacherously against the wife of your youth. 16 "If he hates and divorces his wife," says the LORD God of Israel, "he covers his garment with injustice," says the LORD of Hosts. Therefore, watch yourselves carefully, and do not act treacherously.

Note: Marriage was a covenant (see Proverbs 2:17; Ezekiel 16:8), and covenants were affirmed before witnesses (see Deuteronomy 30:19; 1 Samuel 20:23; Isaiah 8:1-2).

The distress of the times was in large measure due to the general contempt for the solemn obligations of marriage. The special mention of “the wife of thy youth” seems to show that elderly Jewish wives were being put aside so that husbands might marry young and attractive girls from the neighboring nations. Note that, if the usual interpretation is correct, monogamy is apparently assumed as the normal practice. Marriage, says the prophet, is not a matter of private arrangement or personal convenience, but a solemn “covenant” entered into before God (marriage seems to be called a covenant also in Ezekiel 16:8; Proverbs 2:17), and its obligations may not be disregarded for frivolous reasons.

The particular situation in his day leads the prophet to announce a general truth which is found nowhere else in the OT – that God is opposed to divorce. The prophet was no mere ritualist or fanatical nationalist, but a man of deep human sympathies. This is shown by his perception that the divorce of a faithful wife is an act of cruelty toward her as a person as well as an act of disloyalty to God.

God considers divorce based solely on a lack of affection as an injustice and an act of treachery.

• Malachi 2:16 HCSB "If he hates and divorces his wife," says the LORD God of Israel, "he covers his garment with injustice," says the LORD of Hosts. Therefore, watch yourselves carefully, and do not act treacherously.

A certificate of divorce (called a gett) citing specific transgressions was required. Outside authorities and witnesses were involved so as to ensure that the divorce was not enacted frivolously.

• Isaiah 50:1 HCSB This is what the LORD says: Where is your mother's divorce certificate that I used to send her away? Or who were My creditors that I sold you to? Look, you were sold for your iniquities, and your mother was put away because of your transgressions.
• Deuteronomy 24:1-4 HCSB "If a man marries a woman, but she becomes displeasing to him because he finds something improper about her, he may write her a divorce certificate, hand it to her, and send her away from his house. 2 If after leaving his house she goes and becomes another man's wife, 3 and the second man hates her, writes her a divorce certificate, hands it to her, and sends her away from his house or if he dies, 4 the first husband who sent her away may not marry her again after she has been defiled, because that would be detestable to the LORD. You must not bring guilt on the land the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance.
• Matthew 19:7-9 HCSB "Why then," they asked Him, "did Moses command us to give divorce papers and to send her away?" 8 He told them, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of the hardness of your hearts. But it was not like that from the beginning. 9 And I tell you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery."
• Mark 10:4-9 HCSB They said, "Moses permitted us to write divorce papers and send her away." 5 But Jesus told them, "He wrote this commandment for you because of the hardness of your hearts. 6 But from the beginning of creation God made them male and female. 7 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother [and be joined to his wife,] 8 and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, man must not separate."

Jesus says: No divorce except in the case of porneia.

• Matthew 5:31-32 HCSB "It was also said, Whoever divorces his wife must give her a written notice of divorce. 32 But I tell you, everyone who divorces his wife, except in a case of sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Note: Neither Mark 10:11-12 nor Luke 16:18 mention this exception. As you will see later, there was a debate going on at the time between two schools of Jewish thought. Since Matthew’s gospel was addressed to Jews (who would have been familiar with this debate), perhaps this is why the Holy Spirit directed him to include this reference.

Porneia (Strong’s 4202 from 4203 perneno to act the harlot) was a very general term that included: harlotry, adultery, incest, indulging in unlawful lust of either sex, fornication, prostitution (i.e. Revelation 19:2) and any illicit sexual intercourse in general (Demosthenes 403, 27; 433,25). The word is used in various ways in the following passages.

• Matthew 5:32 HCSB But I tell you, everyone who divorces his wife, except in a case of sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
• Matthew 19:9 HCSB And I tell you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery."
• Acts 15:20, 29 HCSB but instead we should write to them to abstain from things polluted by idols, from sexual immorality, from eating anything that has been strangled, and from blood… 29 that you abstain from food offered to idols, from blood, from eating anything that has been strangled, and from sexual immorality. If you keep yourselves from these things, you will do well. Farewell.
• Acts 21:25 HCSB With regard to the Gentiles who have believed, we have written a letter containing our decision that they should keep themselves from food sacrificed to idols, from blood, from what is strangled, and from sexual immorality."
• 1 Corinthians 5:1 HCSB It is widely reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and the kind of sexual immorality that is not even condoned among the Gentiles--a man is living with his father's wife.
• 1 Corinthians 6:13, 18 HCSB "Foods for the stomach and the stomach for foods," but God will do away with both of them. The body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body…18 Flee from sexual immorality! "Every sin a person can commit is outside the body," but the person who is sexually immoral sins against his own body.
• 1 Corinthians 7:2 HCSB But because of sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.
• 2 Corinthians 12:21 HCSB I fear that when I come my God will again humiliate me in your presence, and I will grieve for many who sinned before and have not repented of the uncleanness, sexual immorality, and promiscuity they practiced.
• Galatians 5:19 HCSB Now the works of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, moral impurity, promiscuity,

At the time of these writings, the Roman Empire was already beginning its moral decline and the Gentiles considered divorce a negligible offense and entered into it very lightly. Paul’s response was that just because something is allowed doesn’t mean that it’s what’s best.

• 1 Corinthians 6:12 HCSB "Everything is permissible for me," but not everything is helpful. "Everything is permissible for me," but I will not be brought under the control of anything.

In the Old Testament, the relationship that existed between Jehovah and the people of Israel was described as a marriage. Porneia is used metaphorically of the worship of idols.

• Hosea 1:2 HCSB When the LORD first spoke to Hosea, He said this to him: Go and marry a promiscuous wife and have children of promiscuity, for the whole land has been promiscuous by abandoning the LORD.

This same idea carried over into the New Testament.

• Revelation 14:8 HCSB A second angel followed, saying: "It has fallen, Babylon the Great has fallen, who made all nations drink the wine of her sexual immorality, which brings wrath."
• Revelation 17:2-4 HCSB The kings of the earth committed sexual immorality with her, and those who live on the earth became drunk on the wine of her sexual immorality." 3 So he carried me away in the Spirit to a desert. I saw a woman sitting on a scarlet beast that was covered with blasphemous names, having seven heads and 10 horns. 4 The woman was dressed in purple and scarlet, adorned with gold, precious stones, and pearls. She had a gold cup in her hand filled with everything vile and with the impurities of her prostitution.
• Revelation 18:3 HCSB For all the nations have drunk the wine of her sexual immorality, which brings wrath. The kings of the earth have committed sexual immorality with her, and the merchants of the earth have grown wealthy from her excessive luxury.
• Revelation 19:2 HCSB because His judgments are true and righteous, because He has judged the notorious prostitute who corrupted the earth with her sexual immorality; and He has avenged the blood of His servants that was on her hands.

This way of interpreting the term porneia was understood and commonly used by the Jews of Jesus’ day and was reflected in Jesus’ conversation with the Pharisees concerning their rejection of His message. In essence, He said that just as we are not to indulge in unfaithfulness to our spouses, we should not be unfaithful to our God. The Pharisees indignantly replied that they had not done so and overtly implied that Jesus (whose provenance was questionable since Mary had gotten pregnant while engaged) was an illegitimate child.

• John 8:41 HCSB You're doing what your father does." "We weren't born of sexual immorality," they said. "We have one Father--God."

Note: In Matthew 5:32 and 19:9 porneia stands for, or includes, adultery; it is distinguished from it in 15:19 and Mark 7:21.

Fornication comes from an evil heart.

• Matthew 5:19 HCSB Therefore, whoever breaks one of the least of these commandments and teaches people to do so will be called least in the kingdom of heaven. But whoever practices and teaches these commandments will be called great in the kingdom of heaven.

But it is also sin against the body.

• 1 Corinthians 6:18 HCSB Flee from sexual immorality! "Every sin a person can commit is outside the body," but the person who is sexually immoral sins against his own body.

Sins against the body (which is the temple of the Holy Spirit) therefore lead to judgment from God.

• 1 Corinthians 3:16-17 HCSB Don't you know that you are God's sanctuary and that the Spirit of God lives in you? 17 If anyone ruins God's sanctuary, God will ruin him; for God's sanctuary is holy, and that is what you are.

It also disrupts Christian fellowship.

• 1 Corinthians 5:9-11 HCSB I wrote to you in a letter not to associate with sexually immoral people-- 10 by no means referring to this world's immoral people, or to the greedy and swindlers, or to idolaters; otherwise you would have to leave the world. 11 But now I am writing you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother who is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a reviler, a drunkard or a swindler. Do not even eat with such a person.

If habitually and unrepentantly practiced, it is evidence that one is excluded from God’s kingdom.

• 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 HCSB Do you not know that the unjust will not inherit God's kingdom? Do not be deceived: no sexually immoral people, idolaters, adulterers, male prostitutes, homosexuals, 10 thieves, greedy people, drunkards, revilers, or swindlers will inherit God's kingdom. 11 Some of you were like this; but you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

Since the husband and wife become one flesh, if one sins against the flesh it, in essence, forces the other to sin as well. This is not fair and just and thus God makes allowance for divorce in such a case.

• Genesis 2:23-24 HCSB And the man said: This one, at last, is bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh; this one will be called woman, for she was taken from man. 24 This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh.
• Matthew 19:5-6 HCSB and He also said: For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, man must not separate."
• 1 Corinthians 6:15-17 HCSB Do you not know that your bodies are the members of Christ? So should I take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Absolutely not! 16 Do you not know that anyone joined to a prostitute is one body with her? For it says, The two will become one flesh. 17 But anyone joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him.

God gave the Northern Kingdom of Israel her certificate of divorce.

• Jeremiah 3:8 HCSB I observed that it was because unfaithful Israel had committed adultery that I had sent her away and had given her a certificate of divorce. Nevertheless, her treacherous sister Judah was not afraid but also went and prostituted herself.

God left Judah, but did not initiate the divorce. Judah broke her relationship with Him, but God chose to enact a temporary period of separation by exiling Judah rather than divorcing her. His goal was to reconcile with her.

• Isaiah 54:6-8 HCSB For the LORD has called you, like a wife deserted and wounded in spirit, a wife of one's youth when she is rejected," says your God. 7 "I deserted you for a brief moment, but I will take you back with great compassion. 8 In a surge of anger I hid My face from you for a moment, but I will have compassion on you with everlasting love," says the LORD your Redeemer.
• Isaiah 62:4 HCSB You will no longer be called Deserted, and your land will not be called Desolate; instead, you will be called My Delight is in Her, and your land Married; for the LORD delights in you, and your land will be married.

Notice that the Pharisees, in questioning Jesus concerning divorce and remarriage specified “on any grounds.” As previously mentioned, during the time that Jesus was on earth, there was a sharp debate between two religious schools of thought. Shammai’s interpretation of Deuteronomy 24:1-4 held that “some indecency” (Deuteronomy 24:1) meant “immorality.” (as in Matthew 19:9). So the followers of Shammai held that immorality was the only appropriate cause for divorce. Another rabbi, named Hillel (c.60BC-AD20), emphasized the preceding clause “she finds no favor in his eyes” and allowed divorce if a spouse did anything that was disliked – up to and including burning the food! Jesus clearly fell on the side of Shammai, referring to Genesis 1:27 and 2:24 as the appropriate Scriptural interpretive tool.

• Matthew 19:3-9 HCSB Some Pharisees approached Him to test Him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife on any grounds?" 4 "Haven't you read," He replied, "that He who created them in the beginning made them male and female, 5 and He also said: For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, man must not separate." 7 "Why then," they asked Him, "did Moses command us to give divorce papers and to send her away?" 8 He told them, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of the hardness of your hearts. But it was not like that from the beginning. 9 And I tell you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery."

A marriage vow binds the husband and wife together until death separates them.

• Romans 7:1-3 HCSB Since I am speaking to those who understand law, brothers, are you unaware that the law has authority over someone as long as he lives? 2 For example, a married woman is legally bound to her husband while he lives. But if her husband dies, she is released from the law regarding the husband. 3 So then, if she gives herself to another man while her husband is living, she will be called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law. Then, if she gives herself to another man, she is not an adulteress.

Note: Pay attention to the phrase “released from the law”. If your spouse dies, you are “released from the law”, the implication being that you may now remarry.

A believer may not initiate a divorce from an unbelieving spouse with religious differences being the sole reason.

• 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 HCSB I command the married--not I, but the Lord--a wife is not to leave her husband. 11 But if she does leave, she must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband--and a husband is not to leave his wife.

Remaining with an unbelieving spouse allows that person a greater chance of hearing truth and seeing it lived in the believing spouse’s life. They thus have an increased chance of becoming a Christian and escaping God’s wrath. We must consider our role in the salvation of the unmarried spouse and any possible children when debating divorce.

• 1 Corinthians 7:12-14 HCSB But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she is willing to live with him, he must not leave her. 13 Also, if any woman has an unbelieving husband, and he is willing to live with her, she must not leave her husband. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the Christian husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.

Note: In vv. 12-13 the apostle is talking about couples already married, when one of them becomes a Christian after already being married. If at all possible, they should remain together, unless the unbeliever, whether man or woman, refuses to remain (v.15).

Verse 14 clarifies that the unbelieving partner is influenced by the godly life of the Christian partner; so that family is under the holy influence of the believer and in that sense is sanctified. The children at least have the advantage of being under the sanctifying influence of one Christian parent (cp. V.16) and so may be called holy.

The apostle was NOT advocating “evangelistic dating” or marrying and unbeliever in the hopes that they will convert.

• 2 Corinthians 6:14 HCSB Do not be mismatched with unbelievers. For what partnership is there between righteousness and lawlessness? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness?

Note: This difference in spiritual values underpins so many decisions in life that the matching of an unbeliever with a believer in marriage all but dooms the relationship to failure. A zaquen (church elder) clearly must not participate in such a vow. Though an elder may marry two unbelievers who are appropriately prepared for marriage, he may not marry an unbeliever to a believer under any circumstances.

The believing spouse must seek reconciliation when trouble arises.

• Matthew 5:9 HCSB Blessed are the peacemakers, because they will be called sons of God.
• Romans 12:18 HCSB If possible, on your part, live at peace with everyone.
• 1 Corinthians 7:12-13 HCSB But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she is willing to live with him, he must not leave her. 13 Also, if any woman has an unbelieving husband, and he is willing to live with her, she must not leave her husband.

Note: Jesus pronounced a blessing on peacemakers. Believers are to cultivate peace with everyone to the extent that it depends on them – including their spouses.

God values our relationships more than He values our worship.

• Matthew 5:23-24 HCSB So if you are offering your gift on the altar, and there you remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

He gave us clear directions as to the procedures to follow in seeking reconciliation.

• Matthew 18:15-18 HCSB "If your brother sins against you, go and rebuke him in private. If he listens to you, you have won your brother. 16 But if he won't listen, take one or two more with you, so that by the testimony of two or three witnesses every fact may be established. 17 If he pays no attention to them, tell the church. But if he doesn't pay attention even to the church, let him be like an unbeliever and a tax collector to you. 18 I assure you: Whatever you bind on earth is already bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth is already loosed in heaven.

Note: Tax collectors. Traditionally known as “publicans,” these were local men employed by Roman tax contractors to collect taxes for them. Because they worked for Rome and often demanded unreasonable payments, the tax collectors gained a bad reputation and were generally hated and considered traitors.

Gentile. Remember that Jesus was here speaking to an entirely Jewish audience before the coming of the Gentile church and this word meant “unclean” or “unbeliever” to them.

If the unbelieving spouse wants to depart, he or she may do so.

• 1 Corinthians 7:15 HCSB But if the unbeliever leaves, let him leave. A brother or a sister is not bound in such cases. God has called you to peace.

Note: not bound: The believer is not under obligation to that marriage (cp. Romans 7:1-3). The language is the same as is used in the case of a widow. As a widow is no longer bound to her marriage vow to a dead spouse, similarly a woman is not bound to her wedding vow to an unbeliever who has chosen to abandon her.

If a believer leaves outside of the two allowable conditions of porneia or abandonment he/she must not remarry but must continue to seek reconciliation.

• 1 Corinthians 7:11 HCSB But if she does leave, she must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband--and a husband is not to leave his wife.

Note: Paul argued that in the light of Christ’s command she (or he) is not to marry again. Rather, the separated or divorced couple is to be reconciled. Clearly, the ideal is that marriage should not be permanently disrupted.

Marriage is a vow taken before God. Anyone who breaks this vow is liable to judgment from God and the church. The only way out of the vow, therefore, is if God gives a way out. If God says you may divorce and freely marry under a certain circumstance then you MAY divorce. Just because you MAY, doesn’t mean you SHOULD. It simply means it’s a possible course of action.

• Matthew 19:6 HCSB So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, man must not separate."

There is a third circumstance in which I believe a person may divorce and remarry. I say “abandon the vow” rather than just “abandon the spouse” because of the problem of spousal abuse. Physical abuse is a serious crime that Hashem has vowed to punish.

• Luke 12:44-46 HCSB I tell you the truth: he will put him in charge of all his possessions. 45 But if that slave says in his heart, 'My master is delaying his coming,' and starts to beat the male and female slaves, and to eat and drink and get drunk, 46 that slave's master will come on a day he does not expect him and at an hour he does not know. He will cut him to pieces and assign him a place with the unbelievers.

How much greater a crime it is when our Lord has commanded us to cherish our spouse and take into consideration the woman’s fragility?

• Ephesians 5:25-29 HCSB Husbands, love your wives, just as also Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 to make her holy, cleansing her in the washing of water by the word. 27 He did this to present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but holy and blameless. 28 In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hates his own flesh, but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church,
• 1 Peter 3:7 HCSB Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives with understanding of their weaker nature yet showing them honor as co-heirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.

Note: Just because an abusive spouse refuses to leave the house does not mean that he/she has not abandoned you. I therefore believe that spousal abuse may be considered adequate reason to grant a “get”, i.e. grant divorce with the possibility of remarriage.

Conclusion

That there are two circumstances in which God allows divorce and remarriage as an acceptable alternative is devar mishnah – clear settled law.

1. If sexual infidelity on the part of one spouse instigated the divorce.
2. If one spouse abandoned the vows.

However, I believe that there is a third circumstance that is shikul ha da’at (A matter not settled and left to the understanding of the individual elder): spousal abuse.

Under any other circumstances, people may temporarily separate or even divorce, but God considers them still “one flesh” and any sexual relationship that they have with someone else, whether they marry them or not will be considered “adultery” by God (Matthew 5:31).